C.J.'s Corner... aka my take on what's going on.♦

First off, if this blog sucks it's not my fault....

I tried to shut it down, but the labor union staged a sit-in and promised not to leave until I agreed to keep writing. So, I'm now going to climb on my soapbox...

“All you did was weaken a country today, Kaffee. That’s all you did. You put people in danger. Sweet dreams, son.” …

So here we are, back at the bailout table....this time it's the Big Three (Ford, GM & Chrysler) begging for federal aid to help them avoid bankruptcy. Somehow, despite other automakers (Toyota, Honda, Hyundai, Subaru, Mercedes etc.) being able to remain profitable while building cars in the U.S., these guys can't seem to put together the right formula for long term stability. So they want us, the taxpayers, to make them a big fat loan lest they go belly up. Mind you they have no plan for the radical changes that will no doubt be necessary to ensure a return to profitability, but hey....this is the "New America" right? A land where you don't need to be competitive to survive, if you go broke you just ask the government for more money....and they oblige. Money grows on trees in the "New America" right? We can afford to give it away freely, without any guarantee that we"ll get it back. Right?


Now, enter our hero, Alabama Senator Richard Shelby(R). Senator Shelby has been extremely vocal in his opposition to this bailout, and the financial risk Congress would be taking with our money by giving Detroit what amounts to nothing more than a band-aid to cover an arterial bleed. Senator Shelby believes, as do I, that nothing short of a complete overhaul of the Big Three and their business model can ensure their survival. And to accomplish that, may mean that one of them has to go away....a "Big Two" perhaps. There's no doubt that decades of bowing at the alter of the labor unions has helped create this problem, and until they go away, the problem cannot be solved.


Now for taking this stance, Senator Shelby and indeed all of Alabama, has become a target of blue dot hatred. I enter into evidence the following website: http;//www.boycottalabamanow.com Obvioulsy the work of a democrat (aka the blue dots). The site aims to stage a national boycott of all things Alabama. It claims to be supported by "True Americans" as opposed to the "Real Americans" that supported the Republican party (aka the red dots) in this past election. The site further attempts to give a feeble apology to the citizens of Alabama saying and I quote "to the great people of Alabama, please keep in mind; we didn’t start this mess, our government did." to which I say.......you kind of did. I'll explain:


When you say "we didn't start this mess" you're implying "we" are the blue dots (Michigan went to Obama making it a blue state), and when you say "our government did" you're obviously talking about the current administration....which as we all know is made up of red dots (Alabama went to McCain making it a red state). Clearly you're implying that this is the Republicans playing partisan politics. However, before you throw that stone consider this:


February 29, 2008 - The U.S. Airforce awards a $100 Million dollar contract to build aerial refueling tankers to Los Angeles based Northrop Grumman/EADS, who beat out Illinois (blue state) based Boeing. Boeng went crying to it's allies in Congress (all blue dots) that the contest was unfair, when in fact, it was the most open and transparent bidding process in the history of the Pentagon. The blue dots were up in arms, EADS is European, thus we MUST be outsourcing American jobs to France. Right? Boeing filed a protest, the blue dots bullied the GAO, and the whole deal was called off. Then, the Air Force announced it would start the bidding process all over again. When Boeing played the "we're taking our ball and going home card" the Pentagon decided to delay the reopening of the competition until AFTER a new administration was elected. If that wasn't partisan politics, I'm not sure what is.


It was a great day for the blue dots....they saved American jobs.....right? NO. The KC-45 was to be built right here in Alabama, by "Real Americans". That fact was always lost whenever the blue dots pranced in front of the press. All they kept saying was that the KC-45 would not be built by Americans. Apparently they meant it wouldn't be built by "True Americans". So forgive us if we're not sympathetic to bailing out Detroit, "your government" cost us the chance to build a new industry here in the South.


Ok, I'll climb down off my soapbox now...



But it's not worse than when someone says they don’t want fries and then eats half of yours …

So what is exactly about being elected Governor of Illinois that makes otherwise intelligent men turn into dumber versions of Harvey Dent? Current Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D) is accused of a rather long laundry list of crimes, including soliciting bribes from parties wishing to fill the Senate seat vacated by the President Elect. If that wasn't bad enough, perhaps what's more disturbing is that Blagojevich is just the latest Illinois Governor to have legal issues. Three of the seven previous Illinois Governors before him are currently service jail time somewhere for crimes committed while in office. Assuming the same fate for Blagojevich, that would be four of the last eight. That means 50% of the last eight Illinois Governors were crooks. So if you have a 50/50 chance of going to jail if elected, what sane person would run? Did I mention that Illinois is a blue state?

But I’m still most afraid of the Viva Viagra guys …

"Officials in Mexico City have announced a plan to give free Viagra to elderly men."

No, I'm not making this up.... If you're over 70 and live in Mexico City, there are plenty of little blue pills in your future.

Mayor Marcelo Ebrard says the city is implementing the plan because sexuality "has a lot to do with quality of life and our happiness."
Pills will be distributed at three centers that specialize in sexual health for the elderly.

Wait a minute....Mexico City has centers (plural?) that specialize in sexual health for the elderly????? Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?!?!? WoW

Now, there has been some discussion that perhaps this is all part of a new national plan aimed at trying to keep Mexican citizens actually IN Mexico and out of the U.S. However I'm not buying that...no I think there's something more sinister at play here. This is obviously part of some radical Democratic agenda, it's all so clear to me now...... stay with me on this:


1. Viagra is manufactured by the pharmaceutical firm Pfizer, Inc.
2. Pfizer CEO Jeffrey B. Kindler, is a major contributor to the Democratic Party, which is why Viagra is a little "blue" pill instead of a little "red" pill
3. Despite having a Republican governor, Florida is the only "blue state" in the Southeast....thanks primarily to all of the retired "blue dots" who have flocked there over the years from places much colder.


Now the Democrats desperately want the South to return to it's "Dixiecrat" roots, so that the country can once again be united and we can all be "True Americans". but in order for that to happen, they have to get rid of all the "red dots" that have spread across the South like a plague over the last two decades. Which leads us to the only logical conclusion: Pfizer is donating the Viagra to Mexico City to "give away for free" in hopes that such an offer would be enough to entice Republicans to retire south of the border, effectively removing them from the voting populace. A very clever plan, I must say, and one that might have worked had I not seen through the smoke and mirrors...or experienced a sudden unsafe drop in blood pressure...one or the other.



My Shameless Gimmick Item ...

The top three Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world...or at least my world.

1) Overrated: boycottalabamanow.com Underrated: suckitmichigan.com
2) Overrated: labor unions Underrated: finding a new job if you don't like the one you have.
3) Overrated: Paying for a senate seat Underrated: Paying for next months issue of GQ with Jennifer Anniston on the cover :)


Finally, I'm sorry this blog sucked, but it wasn’t my fault …

I'm a red dot living in a red state, what do you expect?